just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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