I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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