thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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