I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
