Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
