So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
