2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
