Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
