im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
