i think i have herpe
just one?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
