Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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