Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
