Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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