you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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