Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
