At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
