so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
