Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You are a genius and a whore.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
