I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
