i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
