I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
