His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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