they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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