I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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