I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
