i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
