Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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