u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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