Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
