Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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