im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
