youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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