help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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