Well apparently he's into motor boating.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
