____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you guys were way drunker than both of me
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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