this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
