Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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