if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
