And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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