I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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