I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
