weddingsv make me drug and hornr
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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