Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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