love makes seman taste better
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
