Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
