Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
