I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
