so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
