I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
