Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
