Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
